Stepping Forward Into the New Year

An old year closes and a new one begins.  It’s pretty typical for me to make a resolution every year, and I’m not so bad at sticking to it.  But this year is different.  This year, rather than making resolutions, I have decided upon a theme that will guide my life in 2013.  I like this idea because it offers opportunities for many resolutions that fit under the theme and lots of flexibility for living under the theme depending on the road upon which life carries me.  I’m VERY excited about this, and I want to preface it with a little back-story that really gives life to what I hope to achieve in 2013.

I read a very interesting blog post from a girl that I think I need to meet someday – she calls herself the “Shy Singer-Songwriter”.  Talk about my twin!  In her blog, she mentions that in her youth, she rarely felt any other emotions other than discomfort and fear.  I can relate very closely to this.  Granted, I recall some good feelings – happiness, satisfaction, love, enjoyment…but the only negative feelings I recall are discomfort, anxiety, and fear.  To give you an example, I distinctly recall the day my Mom and Dad gathered all five of us kids in the living room to announce that they were getting a divorce – no doubt an announcement that would trigger some deep emotions.  But I can still see myself sitting there watching my older brother and sister get angry, and my younger brother and sister start crying, and having absolutely no idea how to react.  So I didn’t.  Now I don’t know why this is, but I suspect it’s connected an inability to give myself validation of my own feelings, and to a mantra I put on myself at a young age to be the savior of the world – how selfish was I to waste time with negative feelings when there were so many problems around me?

There was only one time I freely allowed myself to explore my feelings, to be human, and to feel things that I closed myself off from elsewhere: songwriting.  For some reason, when I was writing music, I was allowed to do or be anything.  I could be sad, frustrated, lovesick, angry, jealous, whatever awful feelings I felt I was not privy to.  Now, I RARELY shared these emotions or songs with others.  For some strange reason, I would love and worship others who expressed conflicting and avid emotions through song (famous or not), but I was always far too insecure of my own feelings to give myself the same permissions.  I do remember one song I wrote that articulated everything I felt about myself and expressed for the first time the inner struggle I had with perfectionism.  I think Mikey Michaud is the only one who ever heard it – “What I Wanna Be”.

Back to my New Year’s Theme. 2012 has been very much a preparation for 2013, even though I didn’t realize it.  Life is awesome that way.  2012 marked my venturing back into songwriting and singing after a near 6-year hiatus (with a little bit of dabbling in music theatre here and there).  It also was fraught with hours upon hours of brain power and career counseling as I tried to work out what I want to do with my life.  I watched my best friend wield confidence and intense love to make a difference in Denver – the majority of my inspiration for chasing my dreams.  I moved into a more suitable job role with a more suitable company.  I did my first live performance of original music written by me and my guitarist.  I began making my first CD.  All with much love and support from my husband and daughter.  Now I plan to take all that, mold it, mesh it, and take the next step forward with my 2013 theme:

Wield Passion to Make a Difference

I’m not sure yet how I’m going to accomplish this.  I only know that it will likely have an element singing/songwriting, and it will hopefully involve a lifelong desire to work with youth.  I know the first step will be to record and publish “What I Wanna Be” on my future album, and finally allow myself to be open about that crazy insecure girl I once was, and in many ways, still am.  But I’m trying not to define it too closely just yet.  As it has been known to do, life takes unexpected turns, and this theme could end up meaning something entirely different than I’d planned.  But I have a starting point, and  many people to thank for getting me here over the past year, and over life in general:

Chris – my husband.  For being the first person I ever really felt I could express my deepest, most private emotions to and who never judges me for or holds me back from being who I am.

Alyssa – my daughter.  For inspiring me to chase my dreams.  Every day I wonder what kind of example I’m setting for her – I so desire for her to never lose her innocent desire to pursue her dreams and desires.  She will only do that if she sees her parents achieve the same.

Sarah Weight – my bestie.  For showing me how to love without bonds and turn that into something tangible to make a difference.  Her confidence in her own feelings and aspirations is truly inspiring.

My Dad – who always believed in me and is constantly overwhelmingly supportive and proud of even my smallest accomplishments.

My Mom – for having the foresight to start me in piano lessons at the young age of 4, and for starting me in a program that I believe helped me build creativity and musical mind.  I am prepared to start Alyssa on her journey in the exact same way and see where it takes her.

Belinda – who was always my biggest supporter as a songwriter in my youth.  We had some rough times in those days, but I always, always remember how excited she was about the songs I wrote, and how much encouragement and motivation she gave me to pursue that talent and share it with others.

Close Friends old and new – who put up with me and my OCD and perfectionist tendencies which I once did not understand, and which the world tended to value and reward despite their often debilitating side effects.  For helping to open my eyes a little bit to what the world has to offer when we relax and let ourselves screw up and just be who we are.

And many more.  Let’s make 2013 the best year yet and get one baby step closer to who we want to be.

Happy New Year!! 

What is a Talent? It sounds simple. But it's not...

So I'm actually extremely tired right now and I've been chasing a very cranky 3-year-old all day (yaaaay...), but I've been chewing on this post for a few weeks now so I'm going to go ahead and crank it out.  Just don't expect it to be as beautiful and articulately written as all my other posts (cough, cough...).

I've been thinking about talents a lot lately.  We all have them; we all have many of them.  And, generally, we all cultivate them as best we can once they're recognized.  But I look back on my life and I can think of a lot of things I was really good at that just didn't really stick.  For example, I played the flute starting in elementary school and up through freshman year of college.  I started young so I was a step-ahead of my peers.  I got a lot of recognition - first chair placement, solos, lots of pats on the back.  And that's really what drove me to continue playing for so long.

Now I wonder: was playing the flute actually a talent, or simply something I got ahead on and continued with because of all the recognition I received?  When I hit college and plopped my butt into 13th chair for the first time, I realized I didn't really like it all that much.  It wasn't worth it to me to put in the effort to get back to the top again.  I just didn't enjoy it enough.

So what part does recognition play into what becomes a talent?  Does it take the front seat or the back seat?  And does loving what you do have any part to play in something being a talent?

Is a true talent simply the one that you love to do even if nobody else cares?  Or is even the opposite possible - is it possible to be extremely talented at something you HATE doing?  In either one of these cases, we could all be potentially missing out on offering some major services to society.

I guess I could break "talent" down into three pieces:
a) you're good at it
b) you love it
c) you get recognition for it

I've always assumed that all three go together.  But what if we mixed these up a bit?  I'm going to leave number 1 alone because it's assumed that if it's a talent that you're good at it.  But could these scenarios be possible:

a) you're good at it
b) you love it
c) you get no recognition for it

a) you're good at it
b) you hate it
c) you get recognition for it

a) you're good at it
b) you hate it
c) you get no recognition for it

Or are they three separate pieces entirely?  A talent is something you're good at, you may or may not like doing it, and if you get recognition for it, you're likely to pursue it despite the status of the first two factors.  And if you love it enough, you're likely to pursue it until you receive the recognition you merit IF it's truly a talent.  If it's not a talent, you will not receive the recognition.


I think that if the second and fourth scenario are going to be true there has to be an assumption that the lack of recognition is temporary.  If you truly are talented at something, eventually recognition has to come (usually after a lot of sweat and tears) or it can't be truly considered a talent.

I would throw out the possibility that we could have a talent and never get any recognition for it, but a talent is usually defined by it's use to society.  In other words, if you hear someone playing a squeeky off-pitch violin after 10 years of practice and performing, you would say they are not talented but that's only defined by our society's standards of what's considered "music".  If our definition were different (and our 7-key scale were different), this player could be considered one of the greatest of all time.  So rather than go around in circles about what's considered talent, I'm just going to skip that all together and assume that "talent" means a general recognition by others in society that someone is exceptionally good at something that is considered valuable.

Discuss.

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Marketing FAIL!!

For those of you who haven't seen this on my facebook page, I think this is absolutely hilarious.  I'm sure Blackjack Pizza didn't plan it this way, but they really should have thought twice before leaving this as-is.  I drive by this everyday and I think to myself, "That makes SO much sense".  Which for Blackjack, is a very bad thing.

Need I say more?  This one is pretty self-explanatory.  Feel free to share and comment!!

Walmart's Missing Niche

Ok, now I know not everyone is a Walmart fan - actually I don't know anyone who is really a "fan", more people who see it as necessary evil at times.  I admit, we sometimes get our groceries there (although we prefer King Soopers) and lately I've been buying my materials for art projects there as well.

Either way, there's no doubt that Walmart's ultimate goal is world domination.  Who doesn't have that goal??  They want to be the "everything" store.  The one-stop shop: if you need it, you know you can get it there without having to run around to several different stores trying to find whatever it is.  These days that includes musical instruments, real estate, and gas.

But the other day I found a market they are missing.  Not that I necessarily wish for them to accomplish their quest of world domination, but I'm an ideas person so when I come up with something I have to blog about it to all you unsuspecting victims.  The story of this idea goes like this (and I believe most good ideas are born this way):

I'm driving in my car with my daughter in my back seat.  We are headed to the water park.

On the way there, I realize that we don't have any sunscreen.

"Where can I get sunscreen?" I think to myself.  "Well, there's a Walmart right on the way..." (as usual).

But did I go to Walmart?  No.  I didn't.  I went to a gas station knowing that my chances of finding sunscreen were maybe 30% less than my chances of finding it at Walmart.

Why would I do such a thing knowing that what I needed was at the local big-box warehouse cheap-o schmeap-o store?

Actually, part of that last sentence answers my question: big-box warehouse.

Walmart is big.  It's huge.  It has everything!  Which means...that if I want something...

• I'm going to have to park in Walmart's big box big-ass parking lot - most likely near the back.
• I'm going to have to take my daughter out of the car and walk 3 minutes into the store. 
• I'm going to have to coax her past the candy machines and electronic rides that will immediately envelope her attention.  
• Best case scenario, the sunscreen is by the check-out stand which means it will take me a minute or two to grab what I need.  
• Worst case scenario, I have to walk all the way to the back of the store - look, I know it's not THAT far but it sure as hell feels like walking a 5k when you're hauling a 3-year-old! - and then wander around to whatever random-ass section the marketing team has decided to stock the sunscreen that day (last time it was the shoe section).  
• If I happen to avoid the toy section during my journey, I'm still going to have to pass the clothing section, which, yes, is occasionally a temptation for me (don't judge me!), and the candy section (more a problem for me than my daughter...), and the special seasonal section up front which is like an amusement park for me.
• And if I get through that, whew!  I'm finally done!  Wait, no... I still have to wait in the long-ass line.  
• And I have to entertain my daughter while in that line, and talk her out of every piece of candy, gum, or mints that she decides look like a great treat.  
• Then, I make the long walk out of the store, through the parking lot, get in the car, and drive out of the parking lot (which can be a journey in and of itself at times).

Ah crap.  The sun already went down.

So, instead, I go to the gas station where I can park right next to the door, walk in and find the sunscreen (hopefully) right in the section with the kleenex, oil filters, and rubber bands, grab a quick snack for the kiddo, wait behind one person in line and hope right back out.  So much eaiser!!!

So if Walmart really wants to take over the world, they're going to have to adopt this model in some way - organize a section near the front of the store that has "gas station" items, or even better, put a separate building in the back of the parking lot where no one parks, and make it a little convenience store where people can drive up, grab, and go.  Even better, make it a drive-through!  How much easier would my life be if I didn't have to unbuckle kiddos to get my sunscreen...

It's the wave of the future.
And yes, I like adding -ass at the end of all my adjectives.  8th grade really stuck with me.

You Have More Talents Than You Think

My Poor Bloggy Blog!  I can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted on my blog!  I'm sure my faithful readers are all writhing in pain from the lack of brain stimulation due to my laziness...

Ok, well maybe it's not so much laziness as it is busyness.  Whew!  A lot has happened!  Mostly I just changed jobs at work.  I finally got out of sales - I'm quite happy about that.  I'm now in the marketing department which is a much better fit for me.  Of course, with my luck, all the deals I was working on will close this month and I'll have missed out on huge commissions!

But you know what?  I get to spend more time with my family, and I don't hate my job.  That's got to be worth it's weight in gold, right?  Well, that's what I'm telling myself so SHADUP!

Anyways, there's another reason I've been neglecting this a little bit.  I don't know if it's the past year I've spent doing practical and uncreative day-to-day work, or the work I've been doing with my Career Coach identifying my strengths, or maybe it's just progress in my quest for self-actualization; whatever it is, I've been spending a lot of time tapping into my creative side lately.

I may have mentioned previously that I've started getting back into the music industry to find my place there.  Well, I've found another guitar player to collaborate with in Denver and we've got a pretty cool project going so far!  It includes a number of remakes of old tunes, and will include a large amount of original material as well.  One step closer to that album I've always wanted to produce!

On top of that, I've been...wait for it....keep waiting...one more just to draw this out so the climactic word shows up on the next line... painting!  I've never really painted.  Ever.  Seriously.  I mean, I did when I was kid, but that doesn't really count, right?  I always just considered myself a person who's not very good at creating something from a blank canvas.  There's just too many possibilities and narrowing it down to one painting has always seemed overwhelming.  I've thought about giving it a try several times in my life, but never nipped it in the bud.  Well, after an inspiring trip to the Denver Art Festival in downtown Denver (and a realization that it's worth trying to create the paintings I want for my living room wall if it's gonna save me $1,000), I pulled the trigger. 

I've been using a tree theme.  My best friend recently got a gorgeous tattoo of a tree that I absolutely love, so I'm guessing that was my inspiration.  But I wanted something with some deep green, maroon, and yellow/gold colors in the background to match my living room decor.  This is what I got with my first attempt:

I was pretty proud of myself - nope, not gonna be humble here, it was pretty damn good for a first try. 

Then last night I gave it another go - was it just a coincedence the first time?  Did I get lucky?  The second one turned out even better!

So now I'm really excited about this painting thing!  And to bring this full circle with the point of my Scratch Paper Ideas blog purpose, this fits perfectly with a business idea I thought of a few years ago, but didn't think I had the talent to execute: Custom Artwork Consulting. 

What's the most common way to buy art?  Look around at shows, shop at the store, purchase online, or talk a well-known artist into doing a custom piece for you ($$$).

Well, what if there was a consultant available who could come into your home and do an analysis of the following:

•  the shape and size of the spot you'd like your artwork to be placed
• the feel and colors of the room's decor
• the subjects/ideas/images that are meaningful to you                                                           

Perhaps even go through some other favorite pieces to get an idea of the person's personal style.  Then a custom piece is created just for that person that fits perfectly in that room.  It wouldn't be a cheap thing to do, but not being a well-known artist, I could charge a little extra without being ridiculously expensive.
And the only reason I've never made an attempt at this business idea is because I thought I was completely talentless at art.  Never assume you can't do something until you've given it a fair shake.  I've lost years of practice over a stupid assumption.

But pretty cool, huh?

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

That's how I feel about a new idea.  Some of you may feel that way about roller coaster rides, or winning the lottery, or, uh, moments in the bedroom maybe (just don't vocalize it, kay?  I don't care who your partner is, that's weird).  That's how I feel about a REALLY good idea.  I have many of them, and I freak out when someone else has a good one - try me; it's veeeeeeeeeeery interesting.

Enter my trip to Green Bay/Chicago/Gillette last week (yes, I did hit all those in one week, and no it's not as cool as it sounds).  This time my blog post is brought to you by Hemispheres Magazine provided by United Airlines (secretly I'm hoping the CEO frequents my blog and will send me a free flight for plugging them...maniacal laugh...).

As much as I complain about traveling, some of the best ideas are discovered on the road either by my own hand or the genius of another.  In this case, the genius's name is Blaine Wetzel.  It was on my way to Gillette, WY from Denver that this article caught my attention.  It intrigued me with it's Page One photo of a cereal bowl filled with...uh, well rocks...and oysters...and I think some seaweed?  And the picture was situated right underneath the category title: "Food and Drink". Ok, Mr. Wetzel, you got me, no need to put a gun to my head, I'll read the damn article!!

http://www.hemispheresmagazine.com/2012/05/01/so-far-so-good/

Mr. Wetzel is the owner and chef of an amazing restaurant called Willows Inn that serves fresh seafood in amazingly original recipes.  Like all restaurants that want to, you know, make money, this one is located in the middle of a metropolis with plenty of foot traffic to furnish a solid base clientele.  Just like everyone else.

Wait, no it's not.

Actually, it's located 90 miles outside of Seattle.  On a remote island where no people live.  And you have to take a ferry to get there.

"Blaine, what's wrong with you?!  You build restaurants near people, you don't make them come to you!!  You're crazy, this will NEVER WORK!".

PFFFFFFFT

Blaine's restaurant is thriving.  It is completely unique and completely brilliant.  People come from all over the world to eat his fine cuisine, dine in a one-of-a-kind location, and enjoy freshness that can't be found anywhere else.  Why?  Because Blaine did something DIFFERENT.  He took restauranting in a whole new direction, made his own kool-aid and then drank it, thought "outside the box" if you want to be cheesy about it...  Who says that people wouldn't drive 90 miles to take a ferry to eat at a restaurant that offers complete solice, a one-of-a-kind dining experience, the freshest seafood available, recipes that trump the finest of the finest, and a soft cool breeze unencumbered by smog and egos?

No, you're right, I'd rather squeeze into a tiny table at a crowded eatery in New York, trying to have a conversation over top of the lame music piping in through a cheap stereo system, the gridlock on the highway outside, the wining and moaning of the relentlessly unhappy couple at the next table, and the overwhelming smell of vanilla from the raunchy over-applied perfume of the lady behind me.

Not to mention, the unbelievably creative set-up of the dishes.  I cannot get over how cool it is that he puts rocks and seaweed in his recipes.  Want to show your customers how fresh your seafood is?    MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY'RE EATING IT DIRECTLY FROM THE OCEAN.

Brilliant.

Why not?  Why hasn't anyone ever put rocks in a food bowl before?  Are they afraid people won't be able to figure out what is rocks and what is food??? 

By the way, here is the litmus test for a truly brilliant idea:  You find yourself thinking, Why hasn't anyone ever done this before?  You literally feel dumber for having not thought of this idea yourself.  Huh.  Maybe that's why I like coming up with new ideas.  It minimizes the amount of time I spend feeling stupid, lol?

Oh, and the final sector of my amazement is this: Blaine is only 26.  26.  That's 5 years ago for me.  At 26 he is running a completely unique, completely independent, completely successful restaurant that is revolutionizing the way restauranting is done (yes, I KNOW that's not a word.  Suck it up). 

I need to get on the God Damn ball.

Adult Play (No, I'm not talking about sex and porn, pervs...;)

Guess what?  It's a proven, scientific fact.  No more disputing it, no more telling people to "get serious" or "grow up" or whatever catch phrase miserable people decide to toss out like free candy at the St. Patrick's Day Parade...

It's true:  Adults need play

And I'm not talking about playing video games, or lame office games to "build teamwork".  I'm talking about pure, pointless, unadulterated silliness.  Few rules, no expectations, and lots of running in circles.  Remember the day when you could make a game out of the twig you found in the street?  And the game would go on for hours!  It is scientifically proven that adults need to spend time just being completely off-the-wall and playing like our kids do.  It releases important chemicals into our brains that contribute to creativity, focus, happiness, problem-solving, analysis... you name it!

Have a huge important problem to solve?  GO PLAY!
Need a new idea for your business expansion? GO PLAY!
Are the numbers on your data sheets starting to run together?  GO PLAY!

I'd like to take this moment to thank Southwest Airlines for their interesting and informative reading material that I had no choice to read because there's nothing else interesting to do on an airplane, without which this post would not be possible.

So.... if play is so important for adults, why don't we have more spaces in which to do this?  No, okay, well we have gyms, the outdoors with mountains to climb and rocks to scale, basketball teams, video games, art classes, etc.  But these activities at the very least have rules, and at the very most have purposes.  Can you think of even one game in the adult arena that is fun, pointless, ruleless, expectation-less, and allows you to joyfully run in circles?  Sorry, Dave n Busters doesn't count cuz you get kicked out for running...

Well, I'm going to change this.  You know how?  I'm going to build a super adult mega-gym.  That's right, you heard it.  And it's not going to have a basketball court, or workout equipment, or classrooms.

It's going to be ONE HUGE ADULT-SIZED MCDONALD'S PLAYPLACE. 

But that's not all!  It's also going to have a huge open area, a box of balls, and a box of twigs.  No rules except the ones you make up on your own - plenty of room to run in circles and throw balls at each other! (I'm sure many of you are familiar with that scenario, hehe).  Ropes hanging from the ceiling, swings, jump ropes, and a huge plastic, rubber, and foam climbing area with ball pits to fall into, moving structures to fall off of, and nets to get stuck in.

Oh, and I'm going to call it "Go Play With Yourself".

Unsolicited Advice From Someone Who Hates Unsolicited Advice

Gah!!  I'm sorry, little blog, you have been neglected!  It wasn't on purpose, I swear - I have NOT been writing with another blog; you are the only one for me...

So, thanks to a rather insightful conversation with my Dad tonight, I have another topic to blog about!  This one means a lot to me because, like many others (including my Dad), I find myself always on the journey to self-improvement.  And I find that along the way, there are many people that like to "help" me with that self-improvement with unsolicited advice or commentary... we all know who these people are, everyone has one or two of them.  If your boss isn't one of them, you're in damn good shape!

In addition to the mostly-well-meaning-but-more-likely-experiencing-gross-dissatisfaction-in-their-daily-lives folks that add to that commentary, I'm also known to seek out my own self-improvement through books, movies, online google searches (hehe), and asking others for help and advice (please note the ASKING in that sentence.  Very important).

I've found that there is a common thread amongst self-improvement enthusiasts.  No matter what their overall theory or tactics to becoming a better "you", there are always two basic strategies to improve yourself:

1) Identify and maximize your strengths
2) Identify and minimize your weaknesses

So, take the positive and make it better, take the negative and get rid of it.  Here's the problem I have with those two strategies: nobody is perfect, so those weaknesses never go away.  Therefore, you're always stuck with some icky, horrible, undesirable part of you that you can't get rid of no matter what you do, and it will always irritate you.  Here's what I say to that:

FUCK WEAKNESSES

I don't believe in weaknesses.  I don't believe they exist.

There is some logic to this.  A very wise woman once told me that strengths and weaknesses are like a coin - they always go hand-in-hand.  If your weakness is that you are often overbearing (heads), the flip-side strength is that you are able to be assertive when the situation requires it (tails).  So if you try to be less overbearing, you will ultimately be less assertive as well.

So why do we even mess with this myth of "weaknesses"?

I have a better idea.  Let's change the two basic strategies to this:

1) Identify and maximize your strengths
2) Refine your strengths

Doesn't that seem much more manageable?  Rather than trying to separate the strengths and weaknesses coin, which is impossible and ineffective, let's forget weaknesses altogether and simply recognize that our strengths are strengths either way you toss the coin, they just need refining: capitalizing on the assertiveness when needed and knowing when to set that approach at bay for a few minutes.  Knowing when your boisterous sense of humor lights up a darker world for everyone around you, and knowing when to adjust it for a lighter atmosphere.

Now rather than a coin, you have a rock.  A rock that is your strength, and just needs a little chipping here, a little smoothing there to become a full and complete you.  And you can embrace all of you now because your focus is always on what makes you the best you, rather than taking on this incredible task of getting rid of weaknesses that will never go away, and if they did, would likely take your strengths with them.

I think everyone can agree that any "weakness" can be a strength in another situation, or a strength can be adjusted and channeled to fit almost any situation (maybe when we think being passive is the best approach, it's better to be quietly assertive).  So focus on that, and put yourself in careers, family situations, and social situations where you can operate almost entirely from within your strengths, and be wary of the moments when you need to "chip a little here, smooth a little there" to adjust to the situation at hand.

At the end of the day, we are who we are, and I think "minimizing" or "getting rid of" any part of us is going to also "minimize" who we are as individuals.  And we are all amazingly, incredibly, beautifully different.

Except for you.  And you.  And you and you.  You have weaknesses; things you really suck at.  So, uh, you know, maybe do something about that.

;)

Picture Them Naked

That’s it.  Just do that and your nerves will be settled, those butterflies in your stomach will go away, and you won’t break a leg!  

Have you ever received this advice before?  It’s usually given by a well-meaning person trying to aid a friend with a debilitating loathing for public speaking.  Picture everyone in the audience naked; you won’t feel silly or embarrassed or out of place because, well, now you’re the only one with clothes on!

Ummmmm… have any of you ever actually TRIED this?  Don’t get me wrong, the premise and justification seem sound, but in practice… well, let’s just say that instead of sighing a breath of relief, I find myself kinda grossed out.  Maybe I’m being too literal, but when I try this technique, I picture a huge room full of weird, sweaty, hairy men and women with oddly-shaped body parts, many of whom may not have even showered that morning, or have chunks of deodorant in their armpits, or, heaven forbid, just came from a date with a tub of Vaseline…

Now, luckily for me, I don’t have much of a fear of public speaking.  Do I get nervous before a speech or presentation?  Yeah, sure, but it’s more of an exciting anticipation of what will happen than a fear of looking stupid.  However, as you may have gleaned from my earlier posts, I do have a fear of another situation that paralyzes me similarly to a socially anxious introvert facing a throng of psychological critics: interpersonal conflict.  

I hate it.  I don’t like people to argue.  I drink the “Why can’t we all just get along?” kool-aid like an inmate who has just discovered the Bible.  When conflict situations come up on the fly, I can deal with them well enough, but I literally tremble when I know ahead of time that I’m about to walk into an argument.

So, like so many folks who would rather wallow in the depths of Guantanamo than deliver a 5-minute speech to a group of critical spectators, I avoid high-strung conflict (particularly with those who harbor stubborn opinions) like the plague.  And as have my predecessors, I have made use of popular techniques for downplaying the stress of such a situation like picturing my combatant naked. 

My first attempt at using this technique several years ago worked so poorly that I couldn’t focus on the conversation [argument] at hand, and found myself in desperation reverting to tactics from my long-distant toddlerhood (“I know you are, but what am I?!”).

It wasn’t a shining moment by any stretch of the imagination.  But alas, there is hope!!  I believe I have found a technique that works so beautifully that I decided to devote an entire 6 paragraphs of build-up in this blog post to give it its proper unveiling!

Don’t picture them NAKED

Picture them MUPPET

If you don’t know what a Muppet is, stop reading right now, run to your nearest Blockbuster Video, and pick up a copy of the latest Muppet Movie which, by the way, is amazing.  And then bang your head against a wall for a few hours for having lived in a hole for the past 20 years…

You heard me right: picture them as Muppets.  There is one undeniable truth that will live forever in the case of Muppets: You can't take them seriously.

Now, I wouldn’t suggest outwardly laughing at your audience or argumentative adversary once you’ve implemented this technique, but I’ll tell you this.  If you read my earlier post about my little crying incident, you should know that I had to finish that conversation a week later, and boy was I nervous.  But I speak from personal experience: if you inflate the size of your opposition ’s head, eyes, nose, and ears, add some crazy spikes and tangles to the hair, and then convert it all to fuzzy cloth…. HAhaHAhAhAHA!!!  Sorry, Mr. President, no talk of Swat Teams or nuclear bombs soaring towards my home office can intimidate me now!

Trust me.  Do it.  Go the extra mile and draw it out on a piece of paper if you can.  And then tell me how right I am.

(I’d also like to point out that Muppets are made of cloth and thus can’t be sweaty, dirty, covered in any bodily fluids, or presenting any oddly-shaped ‘parts’.  I win.)

What?! My Bro Isn't a Big Nerd?!

Ok, so as some of you know, I've been doing a little perusing into the music industry lately.  A little flit here, a flit there, to see if there's a place for me in that world that I've long been neglecting. 

Music has been an amazing part of my world for a very long time, but I've always tended towards the "classical" side with musicals, classical music, choirs etc. (perhaps because it was easier?).  I've always been insecure about the world of popular music/modern music.  Well, a couple of weeks ago, I decided I'M DONE!!!  No more insecurity, no more avoiding a dream that could potentially be really cool, even as just a side project.

So I started digging.

I was lucky enough to make contact with a Denver-ite that is integrated in the music industry, and he's been helping me get my feet wet, and get a better understanding of how things work (and how to avoid the all-too-common and unavoidable "egos" that prevail).

I'm getting so excited to enter a new world that I've feared for so long!!

Ummmmm... wait, what does this have to do with my brother?  And him not being a nerd?  Oh yeah...  Ok, ok, heaven forbid I talk about myself for a few minutes.  That's right, Big Brother, LITTLE JANIE GETS SOME ATTENTION SOMETIMES TOO!

So in my discussions with my new "agent-de-discovery" as we'll call him (ADD for short.  Heehee), I remembered that my older brother, Grant, writes music reviews "on occasion".  When he lived in Colorado he had a few mags or websites or something pay for him to attend concerts and write reviews.  Seemed like a cute little gig.  And he has his own record label too, I think?

So I'm thinking, ok, I should check out his blog and see what it's all about, maybe he can help me learn more about this "world":  gumshoegrove.com

After poking around his "little" blog for a few minutes, I was astounded, and maybe just a little bit belittled by my own lack of knowledge regarding my own flesh and blood: "Grant, WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME YOUR WERE SO COOL?!?!".  Not only is he an amazing writer, but he has well-known magazines and websites knocking on his door for his expert analysis and no-nonsense-foot-in-the-ass-of-"the-man" writing style (don't correct my punctuation, weirdos, this is a blog, not a dictionary).

And it gets better.  Then I found this:

http://www.tinymixtapes.com/news/reporter-wined-and-dined-feels-refined-still-many-things-about-day-linger-gumshoes-mi

Look, I'm down with the anti-big corporation feel, I like to support local businesses and not give TOO much credit to the guys that make it big, but that doesn't change the fact that you have to pretty friggin AWESOME to have Microsoft soliciting your aid (and paying for nice cars, expensive hotel rooms, and wraps...mmmmmm....) in the creation of a "ground-breaking" product.

So, Grantie-poo, hats-off to you.  And shame on me for not seeing the revolutionary talent that others so clearly admire.  You have inspired me, and now I'm going to be plaguing you with annoying phone calls reminiscent of the all-too-familiar Saturday morning cartoons of yore ("What's happening now?  What did he say?  Why is he running off a cliff?  What just happened?  What's so funny?").  And just like the old days, if you brush me off with "Cut it out, I'm trying to watch TV!", the questioning will ONLY GET LOUDER.

In the meantime, I'm going next door to get a wrap.

Eureka!!

YES, I FIGURED IT OUT!!  Twiddle-dee-dee, Twiddle-dee-da!  No, it's not something incredibly revolutionary really, unless you're...well, me.  You're all about think I'm a huge dork, because after you see what I figured out you're going to think, "Ummmmmm.... Great insight, but 'eureka' moments usually involve the invention of electricity or the Kama Sutra or something...".  Well, TOO BAD!!  I hooked you with my last post so now you're going to read it whether you like it or not - mwah hahahaha!!!

Anyways...

Since my little "incident" earlier this week (ahem, we'll just call it a little "snafu" in the work/love-of-life continuum), I've had a problem I've been trying to work out.  Actually, I've been trying to work this out since January when the pressure at work started to build, and I was desperately trying to recover from some major burnout (ok, Jane, we get it, you have a problem, not get to the point! lol).  Why has it been so difficult for me to focus on work the past three months?

Last year I spent all my time and energy (yes, even during non-work hours) pouring myself into how I can increase my sales opportunities, move my customers into the next stage of the sales process, get distributors to increase their sales activities with my product... I tend to be a rather strategic thinker, and I love coming up with new ideas (ya think?) and plans that I can put into action to solve a problem or elevate a situation.  It's what I do naturally, and generally has served me well, particularly in a sales role.

Well, the past few months I haven't been doing that.  I haven't been terribly inspired, I haven't really enjoyed work, and I've been trying to find a new career path that would be more enjoyable than the one I'm in.  I keep asking myself: "If I like all this strategy and ideation stuff, why don't I just apply it to work while I'm in the process of working out how that translates into a life-long career?  Why was I able to do this before, and now, because of a little burnout, I don't have any interest in it?".

I'm actually in the process of working with a Career Coach to try to answer some of my future career questions, ones that will likely not be fully realized for years, but that will enable me to better cope with and understand the work life I have right now.  I'm not sure, but at some point while reading through the results of a strengths assessment, I had a Eureka moment about this problem!  No, I didn't actually stand up and yell "Eureka" (though I was tempted).  My husband knows I'm a little weird, but I try not to act like a COMPLETE nutbag (when possible...).

I finally understood why I'm so uninspired, so bored, so uninterested, and so detached from what I'm doing right now: I've reallocated my resources.  Think about it this way: if we're living in a time of peace, we are using our talents and skills to improve and benefit the lives or ourselves and others.  But, say, a civil war breaks out in Florida.  All possible soldiers, food, weapons and other resources will suddenly be collected to be distributed in Florida to support the battle.  And until that battle is resolved, the resources used for improving the lives of ourselves and others will be minimal.

Well, in January this year pressure, stress, and conflict was introduced into my life between me and my boss/superiors.  What I'd done previously wasn't good enough, and suddenly we were all under scrutiny to see if we're really doing everything in our power to meet our goals.  In other words, suddenly a battle broke out.  See, I don't like conflict.  So when that happened, I suddenly reallocated my resources to try to bring peace once again to the relationship between me and my superiors - one which was previously a supportive, functional one.  This still supported my daily work in some ways because closing deals was the end-all goal for all of us, but the charisma, the flow, the natural inspiration of my daily work was stunted by the energy required for this battle.  So, in short, rather than using strategy, planning and ideation to improve my territory over the past three months, I've been using those skills to try to bring peace to my disrupted work relationships.  And my work has suffered from the lack of attention.

Now, this brings me to two conclusions:

1) I need to be brutally self-aware that I do this.  Peaceful relationships are extremely important to me, but they are not always possible.  Sometimes it's appropriate for relationships to be on the rocks while another objective is being achieved.  I need to learn to resist the urge to reallocate my resources to fight a battle that may not be necessary, and may resolve itself in time.

2) Management, particularly my management, is completely unaware that it is human nature to do this.  It has not occurred to them that they are actually severely decreasing the productivity of their workers by putting stress and frustration in our laps. 

I would say this could be something that is unique to me alone, but the frustration is shared with all of my co-workers, so I think it's safe to say that this is further proof that positive motivation almost always prevails over negative motivation.

Why?  Because we naturally gravitate towards eliminating the negative in our lives (I think it's safe to say this is a survival technique).  So when the "boss" throws something negative at us - bam, we send the troops in to fight it; and we don't bring them back to accomplish the original mission until the immediate threat is resolved.

Conclusion?  Don't toss snafus into the work/love-of-life continuum.  And try to use the word 'snafu' a little more often.  It makes me giggle.

To Cry Or Not To Cry

I wish there hadn't been only one answer to this question...

I couldn't sleep tonight.  Not until I wrote this blog post.  I'm starting to think this writing thing might become an addiction... lol.

I had a very interesting experience this week which I'd like to gain some commentary and insight on.  It's based off this question: "Have you ever cried at work before?  If you have or haven't (or know someone who has), do you feel it's appropriate?"

I don't know if it's the country we live in, my upbringing, or just some voice in my head that is connected to an incident from my childhood, but I've always been under the impression that it is not ok to cry at work - unless you warn your boss who you're already close to that you're about to dump a personal problem on them.  Or unless someone is dead.  And you just found out two minutes ago.  And they were killed by your best friend. 

I hate crying.  I avoid it at all costs.  I see it as a sign of weakness, and more than disliking being weak, I dislike being seen as weak (even by myself).  I know, it's silly, but an important thing to know about me to understand my perspective on this issue.

As you may have guessed, I cried at work this week.  Actually, I work from home, but I had a "Quarterly Review" over the phone with my bosses to go over performance and discuss next quarter.  Now I knew this wasn't going to go well - my performance last quarter was less-than-stellar, and most of my colleagues fell well short of projected goals as well.  I thought I was ready for what would likely be a very difficult call.  I wasn't.

Maybe it was the 4-hour drive I had just completed before the call, maybe it was because "that time of the month" had just made it's appearance, maybe it was the intense stress and pressure that my team members and I have been burdened with the past 3 months, or maybe it was conflict in my personal life... I don't know.  But when the interrogation began, I turned into what can only be described as a stuttering, apologetic, nervous adolescent.  I had planned to give good, solid explanations for my lack of performance and stick to my guns on my work ethic and strategies; instead I shut down.

About a half an hour into this mess of a discussion, one of my bosses asked me "Are you enjoying what you're doing?".

Uhhhhhhhhhhh....at the moment?

And that's when I lost it.  And I'm not talking about a tear trickle with a sniffle and a crack in my voice.  I'm talking about all-out choking, crocodile tears, can't-finish-a-word bawling.  I completely lost it!

It's actually kind of nice to look back on with a little humor now - it was humiliating at the time!  I felt like such a child, but now I see it more as a humorous scene from an episode of "The Office".  Everyone has their quirks, right?  My bosses actually handled it quite well, saying "Don't ever apologize for expressing your emotions; we are human, we have emotions" - a response I was not expecting.  I managed to crack out something about personal problems and they suggested I take some time to work it out and we'll have a more productive conversation another time.

But I needed to blog about this because I'm so used to this workplace attitude: "leave your personal problems at home".  And I think that's generally a good idea - keep work and personal life separate - but it seems to be almost impossible for me.  And though I still harbor some anger towards their methods of attacking my work ethic and dedication, I was pleasantly surprised by their understanding of the fact that I simply needed some time to work through some things before we finished our conversation.  Their conclusions didn't seem to be along the lines of "She's just too emotional" or "She really takes things too personally", they seemed to recognize that it was a one-time thing and they just happened to catch me right before the bomb exploded.

So what do you think?  Have you ever cried at work, particularly from a rather harsh review from a superior?  Do you think it's appropriate, and maybe even inevitable in some cases?

Just be nice if you disagree with me.  Clearly, I'm rather sensitive. ;)  But only if you criticize my work ethic.  Or tell me you don't like me.  Or say "Hi" the wrong way.

Empowering SAHM's

I had an interesting thought the other day.  Ever since my daughter was born, I have been struggling with the SAHM/Working Mom decision.  A little back story on where that road has taken me so far:

When my daughter was first born, we lived in Minnesota and I was teaching piano and music lessons part-time through my self-owned music studio.  It was fun work, and I loved the latitude I had running my own business.  I also enjoyed that it was part-time - I could spend a sufficient amount of time with my daughter and also have the opportunity to "get away" and put my brain waves and intuition to good use.  It was a nice balance.

My husband having been the bread-winner at the time, a job opportunity in his field in Denver moved us back home.  I then lived as a SAHM for 3-4 months.  I almost lost my mind. 

I have noticed since I've been married that there are folks that are very well suited to being SAHM's full-time, and others who are not.  It has nothing to do with mental capacity, work ethic, or love for one's children, it's just preferences (if you're familiar with MBTI, I strongly suspect it has something to do with being either an 'N' or an 'S' - the 'N' being the one that does NOT do well staying at home).  I have seen many, many women struggle to find meaning and purpose tending children full-time when their brains desire a different type of stimulation.

I eventually decided to simply dive in to the work world full-time, and it has treated me well for the past few years.  However, I wonder if there is a way to have "the best of both worlds"; to spend time at home with your kids and work part-time or even full-time without putting in 40+ hours per week or checking in to an office every day.

I think we all have seen the meriad of ads online and elsewhere for "work at home, full-time pay for part-time work!!".  It's BS, and honestly a little silly, in my opinion.  But I think such a situation CAN be created if one is willing to invest in or put effort towards using time and talents for a business based off one's skills and abilities.  I literally spend TONS of time thinking up new business ideas for myself that would allow me to work from home, or have the autonomy I so desperately need, or simply cut down my hours so I can spend more time with my daughter.  The newest idea in my pool actually involves helping others do the same thing.

So that bring me to this question: If you are a SAHM, or know other SAHM's that struggle as I did, would you be willing to invest in a consultant that can do a thorough analysis on your skills, abilities, preferences, desires, passions, etc. and creatively brainstorm a new, unique business that would allow you to do what you love on your own timetable?  I know it sounds almost similar to the annoying ads I referenced in the previous paragraph, but here's the caveat: it takes time to build a business, and I would never promise to bring all those promises to reality in a short time (particularly on the financial side).  It would require building a strong business plan (which I've already done with my other business ideas and in my current position), and having the patience, confidence, and tenacity to move on it.  And by patience, I mean 2-3 years to start seeing a measurable profit.

What do you think?  And if you like this idea, when are you available to explore further? :)

Subordinates at Fault for Workplace Conflict?

I, generally speaking, do not enjoy conflict, and therefore, I don't always deal with it very well.  Suffice it to say, in the moment I usually handle it ok (although I am known to back down too easily), but I absolutely hate it, and it will run through my mind for days afterwards, resulting in an all-out effort to avoid such a situation ever again.

So, naturally, I'm constantly looking for advice and suggestions for dealing with and reacting to workplace conflict.

Today Forbes was my resource (I find myself perusing this website like a snake on water these days), and I found this article: 5 Keys of Dealing with Workplace Conflict.  Seems like a good article for someone such as I - and, generally speaking, the article had good advice.  But there was one excerpt that really stuck out to me, and at the end of the day, speaks volumes about the author that made me less likely to "take his word for it" on other aspects of his advice:

"One of my favorite examples of what I described in the paragraph above is the weak leader who cannot deal with subordinates who use emotional deceit as a weapon of destruction.  Every workplace is plagued with manipulative people who use emotion to create conflict in order to cover-up for their lack of substance. These are the drama queens/kings that when confronted about wrongdoing and/or lack of performance are quick to point the finger in another direction. They are adept at using emotional tirades which often include crocodile tears, blameshifting, little lies, half truths and other trite manipulations to get away with total lack of substance. The only thing worse than what I’ve just described is leadership that doesn’t recognize it and/or does nothing about it. Real leaders don’t play favorites, don’t get involved in drama, and they certainly don’t tolerate manipulative, self-serving behavior."

The first thing that shocks me is that he is coming out and saying this in a public article when, in my opinion, it only defines him as an ineffective leader.  It appears that he feels that his subordinates are the cause of his problems, and if they wouldn't spend so much time reacting like children, conflict in the workplace would be easier to manage.  The clearest message to me here is that he does not have an understanding of how different personality types (and just different people in general) react to and deal with high stress and/or conflict situations.  And that he is a sucky listener.

But I want to point out some specific phrases that lead me to this conclusion, and are concerning to me from a psychological perspective:


One of my favorite examples
I find this a very strange way to start the paragraph.  As if he almost enjoys watching the circus of these leaders trying to manage their drama queens?

the weak leader who cannot deal with subordinates
This is a clear judgement without any substance.  He does not attempt to understand why a leader might respond in what he considers to be 'weakness'.  He insults his fellow leaders (who may have differing opinions) right out the door without regret.

Every workplace is plagued with manipulative people who use emotion to create conflict in order to cover-up for their lack of substance
Ok, here's my problem with this one: I get it - these people exist.  I've worked with them, for them, under them, you name it.  But I would say they are few and far between.  "The workplace is plagued" with them???  Come on!  This guy needs to spend more time paying attention to the reasons for these kinds of behavior, and understanding the motivations and needs of his workers instead of shutting them down everytime they show a reaction to stress.

They are adept at using emotional tirades which often include crocodile tears, blameshifting, little lies, half truths and other trite manipulations
Again, I don't think he's listening to his employees to understand their frustration.  I am one who has been known to cry in front of my boss once or twice in the past.  It's not manipulation; I'm just a sensitive person and sometimes I can't hold the tears back (and believe me I'm trying)!  And I'll tell you that there have been times in the past when I have resorted to things like blameshifting, little lies, half truths because I had tried being open and honest with my boss previously and the result was always the same: I get yelled at, blamed, punished, whatever because mistakes are unacceptable.  I'm happy to take responsibility for my mistakes.  But I'm not okay with angry inferences about my abilities or attitude as a result of my mistakes.  Just admit that you're human, I'm human, we're going to make mistakes, and when it happens we'll work through it to fix it, and examine options for preventing it in the future.  Is that so hard?

Real leaders don’t play favorites, don’t get involved in drama, and they certainly don’t tolerate manipulative, self-serving behavior."
I actually agree with this statement (outside of the wording "real leaders" which I think implies judgement against the "weak" referenced earlier in the paragraph), but I can't agree with it completely in the context of this paragraph.  It seems to imply to me that this leadership characteristic is expected to be applied quite often in the workplace, rather than on the rare occasion.


I was shocked that no commentators made any mention of these things at the end of the article.  Of course, his article doesn't exactly wreak with openness to disagreement or criticism. 

What do you think?  Do you agree with him?  Is there something I'm missing?  Am I irked about this simply because I am one of these manipulators he describes?

Unlimited Vacation for Full-Time Employees?

http://www.fastcompany.com/1823415/why-unlimited-vacation-policies-ensure-productivity?partner=rss

I have mixed feelings about this article.  Trust your employees to manage their vacation time?  Awesome.  Communicate to your employees that they need to be sure to "recharge their batteries" and avoid burnout?  Awesome.  Promote a work smarter, not harder atmosphere - as long as the job is done, take all the vacation you want?  Awesome.

I just want to point out that this only works if these messages are actually communicated and supported by management.  I had a job once that had a similar policy - as long as the job is done, I trust you to take time off when you need it.  Unfortunately, in this case, the expectations of "getting the job done" were ever increasing.  Whenever the job appeared to be coming to a close and some vacation time could be taken, the expectations increased and suddenly you couldn't take the time off because your "additional" responsibilities were now in need of attention.  So I think Management upholding their ethics and not using this as an excuse to talk employees out of vacation are essential to this type of policy working to it's full extent.  In which case, I think it's fantastic.

The other potential pitfall is that we simply live in a country of workaholics.  We are taught to work, work, work, at the expense of all else because that's how success is achieved.  If you are a person who is willing to sacrifice everything for success, than this is a great mantra, and I say go for it.  But I think it's very important for employees with families, hobbies, other responsibilities to be encouraged to put the phone and email aside during vacation.  Sometimes we just need a break.  A chance to be with family, to relax, and enjoy the daily beauties of life.  A good Manager implementing this policy will remind employees that though there may occasionally be critical issues to take care of during vacation time, be sure to actually stop working during vacation and enjoy the time off!  This has always been a struggle for me, and a lot of that is because former employers have emphasized work, work, work over taking time to "recharge the batteries".

If those two issues can be managed well (which I think simply requires an employee-centered workplace over a profit-centered workplace - knowing that an employee-centered workplace produces profits) then BRING ON THE UNLIMITED VACATION!!

Sales Article on TechCrunch.com

I found this article today while tooling around on the internet to see if others struggle with some of the sales challenges I face. 

http://techcrunch.com/2011/02/05/the-excuse-department-is-closed/

I think this is a very important read for any sales professional.  Why?  Because it proves how easily and commonly this attitude prevails in Executive Management.  This article basically proves exactly why the guy behind the desk should not be managing and directing the sales team and their quotas.  It's so easy to say these kinds of things when you're not on the front lines.

I personally have experienced this quite a bit in my sales positions, much to my frustration.  I always imagine there exists a company out there that trusts its sales team and the feedback they provide... maybe someday.  This is where my desire to pursue a degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology comes in; I think the business world needs a serious slap in the face when it comes to the way that they manage their sales force.

Be sure to read the comments.  There are a couple of CEO's right on target there that bring some light and real-life experience to a naive and un-researched article.

What do you think?

Creativity Gone Wrong

I saw this sign today, and I just had to share it.  It was the store name for a bakery, displayed prominantly over the door: "Nothing Bundt Cakes".

Now, I definitely have very specific opinions when it comes to creativity, and what ideas are good and which ones are bad and I'm sure the person who thought this up felt pretty clever.  Lord knows I've come up with some pretty stupid ideas in the past that I felt deserved a whole lot more attention and validation than they merited... but there are three distinct reasons why I'm particular annoyed by this one:

1) I generally vote against almost any sign/slogan/ad/title that uses a pun.  With a few exceptions, and usually the exceptions are in the form of a commercial where the stupidness of the pun is sort of assumed by the surrounding context.  In this case, the pun isn't just the slogan, it's the store name!  I just wonder what kind of cheesy people run a place with a name like that?


2) The purpose of a pun is to mix words together that can mean two different things.  For example, if I made a comment in this post like "this store really 'takes the cake'", it would be funny (to some other than me because I hate puns) because 'takes the cake' can mean taking an actual piece of cake (which is one of the main ideas of the post) or a phrase intended as a complement towards the subject of the statement.  Well, "Nothing Bundt Cakes" thus should have two meanings, the obvious one is the play on "Nothing But Cakes", which makes tons of sense, and the other is "Nothing Bundt Cakes" which means....what??  Bundt cakes made out of nothing?  That makes it sound like the bundt cakes suck!

3) The store obviously served more than just bundt cakes.  But, personally, I've never had a friggin bundt cake that I liked, so I'm not going to step a single foot into that bakery.  Especially since the the title "Nothing Bundt Cakes" implies that they sell nothing but bundt cakes!

Anyways, my expressed frustration here is supposed to be jovial, so it's not like I'm going to lose sleep over this, but sometimes I think "if they'd just consulted a marketing person for 5 minutes they could've avoided such a silly idea!".  Hahaha.  Maybe the fact that it's silly will get them the attention they need to boost their business?  You never know...

Ideas for Sales Consulting

I've been thinking a lot lately about various skills and services I could offer to companies as a consultant.  At heart, I'm very much a free spirit, and I think someday that will ideally translate into being a contractor or consultant, rather than being employed by a company.  I like the idea of having the freedom of having full control over my schedule and my destiny, and I also like the variety something like that could offer.


So, one of my thoughts piggy-backs a bit off my first two posts, which have to do with Organizational Management and dealing with Sales Managers and Sales Reps.  Throughout my sales career so far, I've seen a lot of instances where there is a breakdown of communication between Management and the Sales Reps.  Not that the Sales Reps aren't understanding the communication from a literal perspective (although sometimes this is the case as well), but more that they are misunderstanding the tone and intention behind the communication.  Or in a worst case scenario, the tone and communication intended simply isn't meant to provide positive motivation.


Having been a Manager once or twice in my career, I see how easily this can happen.  You provide instruction and direction to your team, in what you feel is a positive but firm way, but what is received is a more negative, unsupportive (or even frustrated) version of the words that were delivered.  I see it even more acutely from the perspective of a Sales Rep.  There have been so many times when support, confidence, and loyalty were what I needed most, and Management instead delivered a swift kick in the butt.  Or when Management continually delivered swift kicks in the butt as a means to motivate our team, when they did nothing more than demoralize and depress us. 

Of course, the last thing the Sales Reps are going to do is approach Management about their flawed, or ineffective management style.  And I'm not sure it would be useful for them to do so anyways.  Wouldn't it be nice for there to be an advocate available to analyze this situation and make some suggestions for improvement?

What do you think?  This Sales Consultant (advocate) would need to have some additional skills beyond your typical strategy-focused Consultant.  Like the ability to get people to talk about more personal issues with their work that they otherwise would be uncomfortable divulging to a stranger, or the ability to be able to explain sensitive issues to Management, or skills in mediation.  I think the idea would be to keep it low-conflict, never isolate any one person (Sales Rep or Management), but simply to communicate the overall tone of the top-to-bottom communications and how to improve them.  Would you hire someone to do this within your organization?